Evoke Greatness Newsletter March 21st, 2023

Make it an amazing week, friend!

**Changing the delivery to Tuesdays going forward

March 21st, 2023

What do your habits say about you? 

noun: habit

A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

In 2018 James Clear wrote a book called "Atomic Habits". I am reading this book for the second time. I love re-reading books, especially at least a year apart from the last read as the season you are in has typically changed and you pick up on things you missed the first time around or they hit you differently.

One of the opening topics dives into why small habits make a big difference. 

“Too often, we convince ourselves that massive success requires massive action."

Why do we do this to ourselves? It's like we are pre-wired to set ourselves up for failure. It is likely driven by our desire for immediate gratification. Let's take the topic of weight loss for examples sake: To lose 50 pounds, we want to do it inside of 30 days and get in a workout 7 days per week and be at a major calorie deficit at every meal. How sustainable is that?

In reality, what that ends up leading to is about 5 days of being "committed" and frankly miserable to then be so pissed at yourself because you can't even get through a week and you are convinced nothing will ever work and that you are doomed to be overweight forever. 

The hard truth is that it didn't take 30 days to get 50 pounds overweight. The harder truth is that making small, 1% changes,  each day will not get you to your desired destination quickly, but it will put you on the right path to create some sustainable changes in your habits that will be congruent with a healthier lifestyle that includes losing weight.

The other silly thing we do to ourselves around goals is create this story that goes something like this: When I lose weight, hit 6 figures, have the new car/partner/job of my dreams...life will be grand.

"The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. The problem with goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone…..

When you look at the psychology behind our habits, they can be deeply embedded into our neurons. Adi Jaffe, Ph.D. said in a Psychology Today article "Researchers from MIT have identified that if neurons fire at the start and end of a specific behavior, then it becomes a habit. Neurons located in the habit formation region fire at the beginning of a new behavior, subside while the behavior occurs, and then fire again once the behavior is finished. Over time, patterns form, both in behavior and in the brain. This can make it extremely difficult to break a habit."

Take a look at what your day consists of. Evaluate what is on your calendar. Take inventory of where you spend your time. These things can tell you a lot about the outcomes you are getting or not getting. 

“The secret to getting results that last is to never stop making improvements. It's remarkable what you can build if you just don't stop.... Small habits don't add up. They compound. That's the power of atomic habits. Tiny changes. Remarkable results.”

An AHA moment from a recent coaching session

On a recent coaching call, my client shared that they were kind of kicking around the idea that their current employer may not be what they want "long term" due to some frustrations they had and felt like they weren't really getting resolved to their liking.

I asked if I could provide some feedback and upon being open to receiving it, I shared that it sounded like they were becoming resigned to the fact that this is the way things will always be. I encouraged them to stay open to the evolution of both, other people, and of yourself. 

We can all get a little jaded when it comes to certain circumstances, but we have the power to interrupt our own negative thought patterns. I do this regularly. I shared that my mind can start swirling pretty easily at times and I will say to myself, out loud, "pattern interrupt". This is my cue to stop continuing down the rabbit hole and pull myself back a bit to re-evaluate. And if nothing else, just create a sense of self awareness around what is happening. 

Our actions, examples, and how we view situations have the opportunity to shift the entire ecosystem of our friends, family, team, department, or even the whole workplace. 

They shared that they felt like talking through this gave them a different lens to view out of and made them realize that they had been stuck in the negative. "This actually gives me more control of my highs and lows".

What are you letting control your highs or lows? Work on the self awareness and start taking that control back!

A quote that I've been sitting with this week

Evoke Greatness Podcast: Latest Episode

This episode has Nate Randle taking over the mic and interviewing my Mom. He had been very insistent for months that I needed to get her on. That morphed into him taking over and she was here for it!

In this episode she shares:

What her childhood was like (spoiler alert...it was bad).

How the woman who was hired to help care for she and her siblings would become one of her biggest mentors in life.

What her proudest moments were as a single parent.

Why she feels like God is always present in our journey.

How she got into the prison system (as a guard).

How she was a part of changing the rules to get the same equitable retirement as the rest of law enforcement.

Some wild stories from the career she spent 20+ years in and retired from.

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